http://misaligned.net a slightly different point of skew Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:30:21 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Polar bears are impervious to the force of gravity.  Rather than being held to Earth's surface by their own mass, their feet are coated with an incredibly adhesive mucus membrane which, in combination with a velcro-like hair configuration, keep them firmly attached to the ground.  It's for this very reason ... http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/855 Data on the Internet is transmitted by a complex series of tin can phones operated by an army of mutant gerbils.  Each packet of data is represented by an intricate sequence of squeaks.  Of course, due to a variety of mitigating factors, including the sound quality of the cans and ... http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/854 The capitol city of Wyoming is actually located in Mississippi. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/853 Ice cream was originally used as a high-grade lubricant for industrial machinery used in cold environments. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/852 The city of Chicago is known to have the last living family of vampire pigeons.  This regal species of bird was viciously hunted to near extinction as it is easily mistaken for being a regular pigeon or a vampire bat (both of which, of course, are hated by all creatures). http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/851 All cereals are 50% chemically identical to raw sewage. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/850 Ink is the root of all evil.  There's a common misunderstanding that it might be money, however, the truth of the matter is that the evil lies within the ink the money is printed in.  All ink has at least a 58% concentration of demon blood in it, thereby making ... http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/849 Cameras will not steal your soul when they take your picture.  However, since they are super-speedy sentient robots, they will take the brief moment when you're dazed from the camera flash and steal your wallet and the keys to your house. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/848 Television talkshow hosts are part of a giant international conspiracy to force people to tape, glue, or otherwise affix their pets to their ceilings. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/847 Bruises are not evidence of crushed capillaries in your circulatory system.  Rather, bruises are roaming alien life forms that affix themselves to your body for a short period of time and control your movements. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/846 It's nearly impossible for the average 6-year-old child to tell the difference between a railroad spike and an elephant. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/845 Every time a light bulb blows out, a seagull somewhere in the world spontaneously explodes. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/844 Early humans had very fragile skulls which were prone to shatter and shear the thin skin covering it, dangerously exposing their brains.  Protecting this, of course, is why hats were originally invented. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/843 Giraffes are not hoofed mammals that evolved longer necks to eat from the tops of trees.  They are really snakes that evolved fur and legs as a means of getting down from tall trees. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/842 When chinchillas die, their bodies inexplicably deflate and harden very rapidly.  It's for this precise reason that the first blades made by man were created with dead chinchilla corpses. http://misaligned.net/lies-lies-lies/841