misaligned.net

Lie of the Day #1787

Fweeb — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 05:01:07 +0000

Drinking antifreeze will turn your eyes green. Of course, it may also kill you, so in order to get green eyes without dying, you should only have a small dose of antifreeze each day. You can hasten the process by mixing this small amount of antifreeze with fish oil and minced beets.

Lie of the Day #1786

Fweeb — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 05:01:29 +0000

September is the only month of the year in which people are legally required to greet one another without looking the other person in the eye.

Lie of the Day #1785

Fweeb — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 05:01:08 +0000

Similar to how human infants are naturally capable of swimming, puppies are capable of flight for the first 6-8 days of life.

Lie of the Day #1784

Fweeb — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 05:01:10 +0000

In most countries, giving a breath mint to a dog is actually a felony offense.

Lie of the Day #1783

Fweeb — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 05:01:48 +0000

Potato chips aren’t made of potatoes; they’re made by potatoes. For clarification, think about what a “cow chip” is. A potato chip is basically the same thing.

Lie of the Day #1782

Fweeb — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 05:01:57 +0000

Cats always land on their feet. This is true because, in 1923, it was officially declared that each individual hair on a cat’s body counts as a foot.

Lie of the Day #1781

Fweeb — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 05:01:31 +0000

The notion that dragons breathe fire has been misinterpreted from ancient texts. It was taken as a poetic description although it was meant quite literally. Dragons breathe fire like fish breathe water. The fire that shot from their mouths was simply an exhale. The rest of the time, the dragon would have to hold its breath.

Lie of the Day #1780

Fweeb — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 05:01:36 +0000

All musicians are named Billy.

Lie of the Day #1779

Fweeb — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 05:01:58 +0000

Most molds and mushrooms have incredible elastic capability. In fact, bungie cords were originally called fungi cords, but the name was changed because it didn’t market well.

Lie of the Day #1778

Fweeb — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 05:01:43 +0000

Sideburns got their name because before humans evolved the capability of growing them, men would regularly brand their faces with hot irons to give the appearance of having facial hair in that location.

Lie of the Day #1777

Fweeb — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 05:01:42 +0000

Not only do photographs steal your soul, but if you take 37 printed photographs of yourself and mix them with a solution of amino acids and left-over cafeteria food, you can produce a living clone.

Lie of the Day #1776

Fweeb — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 05:01:22 +0000

It’s no coincidence that this lie is posted the day after Constitution Day.

Lie of the Day #1775

Fweeb — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 05:01:17 +0000

It’s neither strange nor uncommon to have dreams of being naked. In fact, it’s a little-known fact that humans are incapable of dreaming of people with clothes on.

Lie of the Day #1774

Fweeb — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 05:01:18 +0000

Old MacDonald never had a dog. Bingo was his horse’s name.

Lie of the Day #1773

Fweeb — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 05:01:20 +0000

Everyone in the 1950s wore hats because humans had not yet evolved to have fully developed skulls. If they did not wear hats, their heads would open and their brains would flop out.