misaligned.net

Blender For Dummies: Due in January

Fweeb — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:46:27 +0000

Wow. It’s been some kinda forever since I actually made a for-really-real post here… you know, a non-lying post. If you’re one of the 3 people checking this site to see something like that, I apologize. Of course, if you’d rather I shut up and just do the lies… pppphhhhbbbbbtttt!

I have a good reason for not posting more often. I’ve been writing a book. Specifically, I finished writing Blender For Dummies about a month ago. Woohoo! Now, for those of you who don’t know, Blender is a free and open source program for creating 3D animations and it’s what I use on a daily basis for the work I do. It’s totally sweet and definitely worth playing with.

The book is scheduled to ship in late January and is available for pre-0rder on Amazon now. Weird… I’m an author. That’s just crazy

Lie of the Day #757

Fweeb — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:01:21 +0000

The strongest material known to man is uncooked fettuccini. It’s 26 times stronger than titanium and a single noodle can hold the weight of a 16-story apartment building. Unfortunately, that strength wanes the second that the pasta is exposed to moisture.

Lie of the Day #756

Fweeb — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 05:01:06 +0000

64% of all leather belts are actually, in fact, made of a combination of kelp and super glue.

Lie of the Day #755

Fweeb — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:01:52 +0000

Seven out of ten brain surgeons have difficulty spelling “Arkansas”.

Lie of the Day #754

Fweeb — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 05:01:06 +0000

In Senatorial elections, it’s a little known fact that in the event of a draw, the final decision is made with a single game of 1-on-1 basketball between the candidates.

Lie of the Day #753

Fweeb — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 05:01:19 +0000

When dogs dream, everything tastes like cheesecake.

Lie of the Day #752

Fweeb — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 05:01:19 +0000

The holiday of Black Friday actually predates the American Thanksgiving holiday. As a matter of fact, Thanksgiving was created as a direct response to Black Friday. See, it was noticed that on the third Friday of each November, people everywhere fell ill with sickness. The remedy, surprisingly enough, was to eat copious amounts of food on the day prior. Not willing to endorse out-right gluttony for a day, religious leaders declared that the day be a holiday of thanks, celebrated by eating.

Lie of the Day #751

Fweeb — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:01:07 +0000

For every gallon of orange juice that you drink, your body shrinks by a quarter of an inch.

Lie of the Day #750

Fweeb — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 05:01:36 +0000

Nearly all movies produced in Hollywood are financed by large bake sales.

Lie of the Day #749

Fweeb — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 05:01:59 +0000

Hot chocolate is a deadly poison if you drink it without marshmallows.

Lie of the Day #748

Fweeb — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 05:01:01 +0000

Eating too much turkey will cause each of your internal organs to spontaneously catch on fire. Interestingly, the color of the fire is distinctly unique for each organ. This means that you can visually distinguish which organs are being destroyed.

Lie of the Day #747

Fweeb — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:01:29 +0000

Surprisingly, 3 out of every 5 people in the world have killed a bear with their bare hands.

Lie of the Day #746

Fweeb — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:01:02 +0000

Not only does lightening strike twice, but it’s also going to strike you before the day is out.

Lie of the Day #745

Fweeb — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:01:01 +0000

The human liver can completely regenerate itself in a few months. It has this capability because thousands of years ago, a pregnant newt burrowed into an ape’s abdomen and made a nest. In a freak accident involving a tar pit and a lightening storm, the newt and the ape were symbiotically joined at a molecular level, creating a new being with ability to regenerate its liver at will.

Lie of the Day #744

Fweeb — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:01:12 +0000

Steam locomotives used to be free-roaming beasts in the wild west. Unfortunately, their size and speed made them the cause of many early deaths in that era. To remedy this situation, the U.S. government laid thousands of miles of track and bound the trains to them. To this day, descendants of those once free locomotives are subjugated to the confinement of their ancestors’ tracks.