Archive for September, 2011

Lie of the Day #1777

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Not only do photographs steal your soul, but if you take 37 printed photographs of yourself and mix them with a solution of amino acids and left-over cafeteria food, you can produce a living clone.

Lie of the Day #1776

Sunday, September 18th, 2011

It’s no coincidence that this lie is posted the day after Constitution Day.

Lie of the Day #1775

Saturday, September 17th, 2011

It’s neither strange nor uncommon to have dreams of being naked. In fact, it’s a little-known fact that humans are incapable of dreaming of people with clothes on.

Lie of the Day #1774

Friday, September 16th, 2011

Old MacDonald never had a dog. Bingo was his horse’s name.

Lie of the Day #1773

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Everyone in the 1950s wore hats because humans had not yet evolved to have fully developed skulls. If they did not wear hats, their heads would open and their brains would flop out.

Lie of the Day #1772

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

Contrary to popular belief, wax build-up in your ears actually improves your hearing. Ear wax increases the surface area within your ear, allowing the sound to resonate more clearly.

Lie of the Day #1771

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

Deserts are 70% kitty litter. This is the primary reason why they’re so dry… all of the moisture is absorbed.

Lie of the Day #1770

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Due to the exponential popularity growth of swings in playgrounds, the Earth’s tectonic plates are subject to an increased and unsustainable amount of pendulum force. This is the root cause for increased earthquakes across the globe.

Lie of the Day #1769

Sunday, September 11th, 2011

Any joke can be made universally offensive by appending the question, “Too soon?” to its end.

Lie of the Day #1768

Saturday, September 10th, 2011

Cheetahs get their incredible speed from the fact that they don’t have any bones in their feet. Instead, they have a very rubbery form of cartilage that is actually capable of releasing more energy than it absorbs.