misaligned.net

Baseball was originally invented as a psychological weapon, designed to bore the enemy to death.

Contrary to popular belief, moles do not tunnel by digging with their paws. They actually spin themselves like little furry drills and they just use their paws to propel themselves forward.

No one has ever been electrocuted by lightning while holding needle-nose pliers.

The only 100% guaranteed way to reverse male pattern baldness is by shaving your eyebrows.

If you shave off your eyebrows, they will never, ever grow back.

People who ate paste as children are immune to the stomach flu.

By international law, all combat boots must be made using the skin of your enemy. This is why so many beef and dairy farms are attacked during war; it qualifies the cows as enemy combatants.

The amount of time you’re able to levitate is directly proportional to the depth of the grooves in your fingerprint.

Sloth urine tastes like ether.

The first records were not made of vinyl. They were actually thin slices of cheese wheels with grooves carved in them for the phonograph to play back.