Archive for April, 2011

Lie of the Day #1635

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

In the past, people didn’t blow their noses to clear their nasal passages. They did it to wash their hands.

Lie of the Day #1634

Friday, April 29th, 2011

Ants make honey. The only reason nobody eats it is because, unlike bee honey, ant honey gives you an insatiable thirst for human blood and an irresistible desire to lift things over your head and carry them for miles.

Lie of the Day #1633

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

As a corollary to Lie #1632, memory loss actually causes head trauma.

Lie of the Day #1632

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Severe head trauma will never cause memory loss. The amount of memories you retain is directly proportional to the amount of light in your eyes when you regain consciousness. All amnesia cases occur when people awaken in bright rooms.

Lie of the Day #1631

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

In the summer of 1984, Harrison Veeterbaugh, an ice cream machine mechanic from Brazil, was the first human to break the sound barrier in a rowboat.

Lie of the Day #1630

Monday, April 25th, 2011

If you spin to quickly, there’s a very real danger of your feet swapping place with your hands. This is precisely why professional ice skaters and dancers stick their arms out when they spin in place. That motion reduces the overall speed of the hands and makes them less likely to be transposed with their [...]

Lie of the Day #1629

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

Pregnancy makes you illiterate.

Lie of the Day #1628

Saturday, April 23rd, 2011

Because of the harshly cold temperatures and the increased likelihood of severe frostbite, Alaskans and Siberians have both independently evolved to have a single “uni-toe” on their feet rather than the standard 5 toes most humans have.

Lie of the Day #1627

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

Porcupines can climb up to the top of a tree faster than most birds can fly to the same location.

Lie of the Day #1626

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

It’s impossible to eat pizza without frowning.