Colonel Ernest James Faucetmaker was the most effective and prolific assassin during the War of 1812. However, he was most known for his signature kills that utilized breakfast foods. His most famous assassination involved suffocating his target with a half-stack of pancakes.
Archive for March, 2011
1 out of every 17 fetal pigs comes back to life on a high school dissection table.
All humans possess the ability to look into the future by up to 90 seconds. Unfortunately, by the time most people realize that they’ve seen the future, that 90 seconds has passed.
What people refer to as Texas toast is actually a mistaken name for Oklahoma toast. However, since no one wants to use that many syllables when they speak, people used Texas instead of Oklahoma for describing their thick toast.
Dogs are incapable of snoring.
Every time you sneeze, your body releases the same amount of force of a nuclear explosion. The only thing that saves your surroundings (and your body) from total obliteration is the microscopic re-enforcement of you mucus lining with trace amounts of titanium and spider blood.
Having dry elbows is a sure sign of caffeine deficiency.
Bacon gives you superpowers.
Taking a photograph of someone does not steal his or her soul. However, it does reduce the number of phonemes they’re capable of pronouncing for up to 12 hours.
Everybody hates the Internet.