Archive for February, 2011

Lie of the Day #1564

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Nobody ever has hunger pangs. They’re just an excuse to stop working.

Lie of the Day #1563

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

Nice weather in February is a sign of the coming apocalypse.

Lie of the Day #1562

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Ape feces is eight times heavier outside of their bodies than inside. This is the precise reason they choose to use it as a projectile weapon.

Lie of the Day #1561

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

There is a clear correlation between indigestion and telekinetic power.

Lie of the Day #1560

Monday, February 14th, 2011

Candy makes your teeth stronger, but only as long as you don’t like it.

Lie of the Day #1559

Sunday, February 13th, 2011

Like the numbering of floors in skyscrapers, most cultures simply skip the thirteenth day of every month.

Lie of the Day #1558

Saturday, February 12th, 2011

Tanks were originally designed as mail delivery vehicles.

Lie of the Day #1557

Friday, February 11th, 2011

Friday the 11th is really the most horror-prone day. Misguidedly, Hollywood executives believed that there were too many syllables in the word “eleventh”, so they used Friday the 13th as the title of their film. Many an unfortunate wayfarer has died in a horrific act on the Friday the 11th due to ignorance of the [...]

Lie of the Day #1556

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

Home pregnancy tests are completely unreliable.

Lie of the Day #1555

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

Heat stroke is what happens when someone with warm hands rubs your face uncomfortably.