Archive for February, 2011

Lie of the Day #1574

Monday, February 28th, 2011

Snakes have eyelids. They just never blink because they’re paranoid.

Lie of the Day #1573

Sunday, February 27th, 2011

Never, ever mix coffee with sweet tea. It instantly generates a black hole that could easily draw the entire planet into it.

Lie of the Day #1572

Saturday, February 26th, 2011

Deadlines don’t loom. They weave.

Lie of the Day #1571

Friday, February 25th, 2011

It’s impossible to catch the flu. What really happens when someone is inflected with influenza is that they generate a whole new strain of the disease, potentially capable of completely eliminating the human race.

Lie of the Day #1570

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

By the time you finish reading this, you will be 3 years older.

Lie of the Day #1569

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Brushing your teeth does nothing to clean them. However, it does prevent angry mouth goblins from developing a staging area where they can coordinate their brutal assault upon your brain.

Lie of the Day #1568

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

The term “dogfight” as it pertains to aerial battles originates from the fact that World War II pilots used burlap sacks filled with puppies as ballast to keep their planes level in flight. However, to increase their agility in the midst of a confrontation, they would dump their ballast, raining puppies upon the towns far [...]

Lie of the Day #1567

Monday, February 21st, 2011

Explosives are objects that used to be plosives.

Lie of the Day #1566

Sunday, February 20th, 2011

Astrophysics is the specific branch of physics created to explain the movement of sports figures on artificial turf.

Lie of the Day #1565

Saturday, February 19th, 2011

78% of all stress-related injuries happen as a direct result of using a stress ball.