Archive for January, 2011

Lie of the Day #1536

Friday, January 21st, 2011

Mastodons had tusks that could cut through raw steel like a hot knife through butter. Unfortunately, these beasts had industrial-age skills that were well ahead of their time and they ultimately became extinct because steel had not yet been invented and there was therefore no market for the mastodon’s unique talents.

Lie of the Day #1535

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

All vehicle engines are silent and naturally do not generate heat. The rumbling noise and hot areas were added to help people know that the engine is running.

Lie of the Day #1534

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

If you replace all of the blood in your body with a chocolate pudding transfusion, you can easily live in that state for at least 72 hours. 28% percent of people have even found themselves more energized in that 3-day period before they die.

Lie of the Day #1533

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

Cans of compressed air are concentrations of people’s dying breaths, repackaged and put to good use.

Lie of the Day #1532

Monday, January 17th, 2011

You can cure most skin diseases by bathing in a vat of crushed potato chips.

Lie of the Day #1531

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

Singing is just talking with music in the background.

Lie of the Day #1530

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

Not only have the astrological signs changed days, they’ve also changed names to correspond with those of the Seven Dwarves that hung out with Snow White. The remaining six astrological signs are named after Smurfs.

Lie of the Day #1529

Friday, January 14th, 2011

In Japan, every day isn’t like Christmas. Every day is Christmas.

Lie of the Day #1528

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

In the 8th century, waving was not considered a friendly greeting. It was an indication that the person waving was carrying a bag of angry ferrets and a warning that the bag would be opened upon anyone who dared to venture too close.

Lie of the Day #1527

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

Life is predictable.