Mastodons had tusks that could cut through raw steel like a hot knife through butter. Unfortunately, these beasts had industrial-age skills that were well ahead of their time and they ultimately became extinct because steel had not yet been invented and there was therefore no market for the mastodon’s unique talents.
Archive for January, 2011
All vehicle engines are silent and naturally do not generate heat. The rumbling noise and hot areas were added to help people know that the engine is running.
If you replace all of the blood in your body with a chocolate pudding transfusion, you can easily live in that state for at least 72 hours. 28% percent of people have even found themselves more energized in that 3-day period before they die.
Cans of compressed air are concentrations of people’s dying breaths, repackaged and put to good use.
You can cure most skin diseases by bathing in a vat of crushed potato chips.
Singing is just talking with music in the background.
Not only have the astrological signs changed days, they’ve also changed names to correspond with those of the Seven Dwarves that hung out with Snow White. The remaining six astrological signs are named after Smurfs.
In Japan, every day isn’t like Christmas. Every day is Christmas.
In the 8th century, waving was not considered a friendly greeting. It was an indication that the person waving was carrying a bag of angry ferrets and a warning that the bag would be opened upon anyone who dared to venture too close.
Life is predictable.