As a direct result of the fact that human organs are violently explosive when removed from the body, 86% of all prison breaks involve an appendectomy.
Archive for December, 2010
Because of the dangers of spontaneous combustion that they have when exposed to open air, all human organs must be registered as Class 4 explosives when removed from the body.
The hooves of 75% of all horses are made of a hardened form of chocolate.
The reason why there are so few trees in cities has nothing to do with them being cut down to make room. Most cities are built without harming a single tree. The truth of the matter is that trees are naturally repelled by human contact and they move, albeit slowly, away from heavily populated areas. [...]
A vest assembled of the paper notes pulled from fortune cookies is impenetrable by both bullets and spears.
Everyone’s ability to drive improves when it snows.
The appendix isn’t a vestigial organ. It’s where your soul lives.
In 1976, the U.S. government passed an ordinance that required all office ceiling tiles to be made of a solid concoction consisting of sugar, starch, caffeine, and vitamin C. This way, in the event of a national emergency, people trapped in a building could survive by eating the ceiling tiles. For the record, the ones [...]
If you can eat and swallow whole a grenade before its timer expires, it will be neutralized by your stomach acids and therefore will not detonate.