Archive for December, 2010

Lie of the Day #1515

Friday, December 31st, 2010

As a direct result of the fact that human organs are violently explosive when removed from the body, 86% of all prison breaks involve an appendectomy.

Lie of the Day #1514

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

Because of the dangers of spontaneous combustion that they have when exposed to open air, all human organs must be registered as Class 4 explosives when removed from the body.

Lie of the Day #1513

Wednesday, December 29th, 2010

The hooves of 75% of all horses are made of a hardened form of chocolate.

Lie of the Day #1512

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

The reason why there are so few trees in cities has nothing to do with them being cut down to make room. Most cities are built without harming a single tree. The truth of the matter is that trees are naturally repelled by human contact and they move, albeit slowly, away from heavily populated areas. [...]

Lie of the Day #1511

Monday, December 27th, 2010

A vest assembled of the paper notes pulled from fortune cookies is impenetrable by both bullets and spears.

Lie of the Day #1510

Sunday, December 26th, 2010

Everyone’s ability to drive improves when it snows.

Lie of the Day #1509

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Lie of the Day #1508

Friday, December 24th, 2010

The appendix isn’t a vestigial organ. It’s where your soul lives.

Lie of the Day #1507

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

In 1976, the U.S. government passed an ordinance that required all office ceiling tiles to be made of a solid concoction consisting of sugar, starch, caffeine, and vitamin C. This way, in the event of a national emergency, people trapped in a building could survive by eating the ceiling tiles. For the record, the ones [...]

Lie of the Day #1506

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

If you can eat and swallow whole a grenade before its timer expires, it will be neutralized by your stomach acids and therefore will not detonate.