Archive for March, 2009

Lie of the Day #875

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

Two years ago, scientists as NASA confirmed that one of the most astounding discoveries made when they first sent astronauts into space was that the Earth, unlike every other planet in the solar system, is actually flat and round like a dinner plate. What happens is that the perimeter of our saucer-shaped planet is lined [...]

Lie of the Day #874

Monday, March 30th, 2009

Human eyes are naturally cube-shaped. They only appear round because they’re removed and stuffed into a spherical sack when humans are born. The distortions caused by doing this are the primary reasons for astigmatism.

Lie of the Day #873

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

Unbeknownst to you, everyone else on the planet actually shares the same name. When you’re not looking, they all casually address one another by that name and have no problems with differentiation. However, in your presence, they use unique names for your personal convenience.

Lie of the Day #872

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

The more numbers you add together, the closer the final sum gets to being the number 164.57.

Lie of the Day #871

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Mermaids are real. However, water and regular fish are actually figments of our collective imagination.

Lie of the Day #870

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

The first baseball bats were heavy steel rods instead of the wooden bats we have now. When it was discovered that wooden bats were lighter, the steel rods were abandoned. Fortunately, though, they did not go to waste. An inventor by the name of James “Pucky” Frandlmentigan (who, incidentally, was an exceptionally poor baseball player) [...]

Lie of the Day #869

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

In eastern Montana it’s illegal for a person to dry clothes with a machine.

Lie of the Day #868

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

From the hours of 4:00 AM until 10:00 AM, all wild dogs turn into stone.

Lie of the Day #867

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Fire ants can walk 3 times faster than the speed of sound. Strangely, this potential can only be unlocked if you feed them concentrated beet juice.

Lie of the Day #866

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

Texans are incapable of feeling pain. However, they can taste it… and that’s exactly why they invented barbecue.