misaligned.net

Pulverized bricks mixed with milk and banana extract has the exact same taste and consistency as vanilla ice cream.

Falling asleep on a couch with the television on is the most effective way to prepare for time travel. The only difference is that after time travel, the first thing anyone ever wants to do is eat pie.

Not only do thick curtains block light and provide insulation from temperature fluctuations, but they also completely shield a room from shrapnel and stray bullets.

The more frequently you generate and discharge static electricity, the greater the chance that your clothing will gain sentience and attempt to overpower your movements and devour your body.

If you have a limb that’s fallen asleep and gone numb, the quickest way to wake it up and bring it back to life is to inject a mixture of kerosene and melted butter directly into the nearest muscle.

I just found out that copies of Blender for Dummies have made their way into the hands of people who ordered them… despite an apparent release date set on the 3rd of February according to Amazon. One of the artists featured in the book’s 16-page color insert, Jean-Sébastien Guillemette, had a student bring a copy [...]

If you glue an antenna to a barnacle and attach it to a person’s head, you effectively create a radio-controlled person.

Barn owls are the only known animals capable of erasing your memory. They achieve this if you stare at their eyes for longer than 23 seconds.

Because of some fairly unique depth perception issues, most chipmunks are completely incapable of recognizing the difference between a tunnel and black circle painted on a wall.

The first commercial dog food actually originated as a breakfast cereal called Crunchy Steakthins. Unfortunately, the public at large didn’t seem to take to well to the concept of meat-flavored flakes in a bowl of milk. Dogs, however, thought the idea was incredible.