misaligned.net

The only thing that they serve old people at resting homes is braaaaaiiiiiinnnnssssss.

If you can manage to exactly mimic any movement your body makes in reverse, then you can stop time and go back to the moment just before you performed the initial action. Only one person in history has ever been able to do pull off this feat. Unfortunately, it was completely on accident and the […]

Not only can poodles fly, but they’ve all been professionally trained to pilot heavy passenger aircraft in the event of an emergency where both the primary pilot and copilot are incapacitated.

Polyester is the only material known to have the capability of actually stopping and capturing the force of evil.

No one has ever actually had the name Jonathan or Jane Doe. That’s why those names are used for unidentified bodies. Morticians are guaranteed that no one actually has that name. It’s kind of like how there are no valid phone numbers that start with 555.

1 in every 10 people is named “Chance”. Coincidentally, those are the same odds for winning any gambling event. And ironically, people named Chance never win at gambling.

Shetland sheep dogs aren’t dogs. They’re actually very large squirrels.

Walking canes were originally designed as pogo sticks.  However, due to the poor materials that prehistoric man had on hand, they quickly deteriorated and had to be re-purposed to assist these people walk around after they inevitably fell victim to a permanently damaging pogo stick malfunction.

All race vehicles, including stock cars and indy racers, are fueled not with gasoline. They are actually powered by harnessing the the energy captured from hyperactive and seizure-prone pets.

Pornography actually originated as a complicated series of instructional cooking videos.