misaligned.net

20 years into the future, the international currency of choice will be glazed donuts.

The quickest way to relieve headache pain is to eat a handful of gravel.

In an effort to reduce costs, automobile manufacturers decided in the late 1980s that, rather than use 100% steel, vehicle frames will be 60% steel, 35% bamboo, and 5% raspberry or peach preserves.

When an airbag deploys, it’s spontaneously filled with vanilla pudding.

Herring can speak perfect English. It’s just inaudible outside of water because they produce sound by creating minute vibrations across their entire bodies, rather than with vocal cords.

Russians are biologically incapable of smiling. Their musculature simply doesn’t allow it. They can smirk, but that’s about it.

Hearing disembodied voices is not a sign that you’re crazy. It’s actually a sign that somebody owes you money. It’s kind of like how each time you sneeze, it’s because someone said something about you.

In the long term, knowing how to speak properly is actually a pretty useless skill. 98% of the most important conversations are done with hand signals that are similar to the ones done by base coaches in baseball.

The lead in most bullets is recycled from the lead-based paint that used to be used in industrial and residential construction.  That’s right!  You no longer have to eat paint chips to get your lead fix in.

Each Dalai Lama in history has been slapped in the face exactly 46 times.