misaligned.net

Onions are 76% more combustible than gasoline.

As a natural defence against predators, seagulls developed special glands in their abdomen that make them taste exactly like cigarettes and old socks.

Eating glue will empower you with telekinetic gifts.

Contrary to popular belief, the term “red eye” for late-night airline flights has very little to due with the lack of sleep had on one of these flights.  Instead, the term originates from the fact that long overnight flights has a tendency to dull the colors in fabric, forcing airlines to reapply color to, or […]

Combat boots were originally designed as summer beach-wear.  The idea was that the thick leather exterior and sole, in combination with the extra high top would prevent the incredibly annoying instances where sand gets into a person’s shoes.  Unfortunately, it seems that these efforts and designs are completely ineffectual and sand gets in anyway.  Thus, […]

All dogs hate playing fetch.

Handcuffs weren’t originally designed for restraint.  In fact, when placed on some people, they become 12 times more agile and athletic.  This is why all modern handcuffs are equipped with electro shock probes.

The amount of body hair that a person has is inversely proportional to the number of times that he or she will be late for important events.

Batteries are electrical placebos.  They work by the force of your own willpower.  Theoretically, if you believe it strongly enough, the charge of your battery will last forever and you will never need to plug in and recharge.

Crowbars are more buoyant than blocks of styrofoam.