misaligned.net

When chinchillas die, their bodies inexplicably deflate and harden very rapidly.  It’s for this precise reason that the first blades made by man were created with dead chinchilla corpses.

Contrary to popular belief, sound is not waves of vibrating of particles in the air.  It’s actually a complex set of radio communications between gnomes who live in your ear and a plethora of fantasy creatures in the outside world who are too small to see with your naked eye.

Violins are not musical instruments.  They are actually a kind of Trojan horse in the century-old battle between sculptors and musicians.  Sculptors created the violin to confuse professional musicians, making them think the screeching tones that emanate from these wooden deathboxes is actually pleasant when it actually causes the player’s head to violently explode.

All deer are capable of launching their antlers from their heads and using them as grappling hooks.

By a strangely serendipitous coincidence, there are 3 African languages and 2 Russian dialects where saying “Monday” translates to mean “cats don’t like you.”

Canaries are born with green and violet plumage, but that is fixed by dipping them in a chemical bath that makes them immune to disease, but bleaches and stains their feathers in their familiar bright yellow color.

You may notice that if you stick your hand out the window while driving in the rain, it will never get wet.  This is because organic matter cannot properly travel at the speeds cars do, so when you expose any part of your body to the outside elements from a moving car, that body part […]

The paper folding art of origami was developed by Japanese criminals as a means of creating tools and weapons while in prison.  They were fashioned to look like animals so the guards would never catch on.  Paper cranes, in particular, served double duty as a makeshift tea kettle that could be converted into a flail […]

The original design for tanks involved using a complex array of pogo sticks for locomotion rather than the classic tank treads that they are now known for.

There are 14 specific eating techniques, each consisting of roughly 25 steps, for consuming cheeseburgers that will measurably influence global weather patterns.