misaligned.net

Goats have no problems re-entering Earth’s orbit because their hooves are heat-shielded.

Chairs are an ancient alien race of “L”-shaped creatures that live on the flesh of humans. There have been no recent attacks because the chair species only has to eat every 500 years. They are simply waiting. 7 months to go.

Tomatoes are neither fruits nor vegetables. They are the heads of a minature race of children bent on total world domination.

Horses have a hidden beak behind their teeth that they use for tearing the flesh off of unsuspecting prey that hold apples too near to their faces.

Recursive: Like cursive, only twice as annoying to read.

Contrary to popular belief, giraffes did not evolve long necks from a need to reach food in higher places. They’ve always had long necks. This was an advantage when they were a tree-dwelling species, swinging their bodies from branch to branch in the jungle by biting them with their smooth, rounded teeth and abnormally [...]

Tennis and badminton both originated as games played by house servants charged with the responsibility of taking care of the family cat. Both the tennis ball and the shuttlecock were originally large hairballs.

Even leopards think that their fur pattern is tacky.

Oh… where to start? Well… first the Blender Workshop I mentioned before: we’re definitely doing it again. Official announcements will go out via email and be posted on the Hand Turkey website.
Next, the Virginia Film Office held their annual State of the Industry meeting this past Thursday. This would be only the [...]

Lawn darts are one of the few remaining artifacts that reveal the existance of an ancient race of giants.