Archive for the 'Lies Lies Lies' Category

Lie of the Day #1221

Friday, March 12th, 2010

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not symmetry that humans find attractive when evaluating the appearance of others. It’s teeth-size. The larger a person’s teeth are, the more they are considered beautiful by society.

Lie of the Day #1220

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

It’s a common misconception that domesticated spider monkeys wear vests just to make them cute and approachable. This is wholly untrue. The vests, though endearing, actually amplify the mental acuity of the monkeys, making them far more masterful thieves.

Lie of the Day #1219

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

In southern Greenland, the indigenous people have the unique ability to numerically quantify their feelings and emotions. Each of their feelings can be expressed as the sum of squaring two or more prime numbers.

Lie of the Day #1218

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Styrofoam coffee cups are actually ferociously carnivorous beasts. The reason they don’t attack you and gnaw your face off is because they’re heavily sedated and have been chemically forced to their dormant state. However, if you let coffee sit in one of these cups for too long, the stimulating effects of caffeine will rouse it. [...]

Lie of the Day #1217

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Before DVDs, CDs, and LaserDiscs, there was a disk-based media format composed entirely of living material. Specifically, it was a disk-shaped skin graft and you played its stored media by chewing on it. The technology ultimately failed because its designers wanted to market the disks as “multimedia pork rinds.” Executives thought this was disingenuous because [...]

Lie of the Day #1216

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Eating sugar causes you to lose control over your senses. In fact, if you consume enough sugar everything will taste like rusty nails dipped into a mixture of tomato paste and sulfur… and all mammals will appear to have Abraham Lincoln’s face.

Lie of the Day #1215

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Until just last week, there was very little consensus among scholars about the proper pronunciation for the word “gallon”. They’ve now all agreed that the second ‘l’ is silent.

Lie of the Day #1214

Friday, March 5th, 2010

“Toast” is the only word in the English language that can be used as any of the various parts of speech. The only other word that comes close to this level of wide dispersion is the word, “dude.”

Lie of the Day #1213

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

It is possible to remotely control another person’s actions by whispering their name into your keyboard prior to typing a command.

Lie of the Day #1212

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Most modern car tires are designed to explode upon heavy impact in order to save the rest of the car from a more grotesque disaster.